Gas Crisis 2000

People are funny creatures. Case in point: the gas-price crisis of recent months. Hike the cost of a gallon of unleaded by 5 and people get nervous; chunk it up by a dime and they go positively apoplectic. They'll drive across town and wait an hour to save a total of two or three dollars. Do the math, and even a 20-per-gallon increase only equates to $4 more per fill-up if you take on 20 gallons. Okay, four bucks is four bucks, but I can easily make up that less-than-50-per-day (based on one fill-up per week) increase by not having cheese on my burger, or skipping the French fries side order, or only getting a "tall" Starbucks coffee instead of the "venti." Not exactly life-threatening prospects.

Now, even though gasoline prices have remained fairly constant for the past decade or more (while prices of such things as movie tickets and dining out have greatly increased), I'm not suggesting you're wrong for being upset at a gas hike. As an owner of five '60s American cars with big gas-swilling V-8s, I like cheap fuel as much as you do. I just find interesting the reactions that take place the instant gas prices start to climb.

Here's how I've observed it to work: For whatever reason (a jump in OPEC crude oil prices, big holiday weekend, just for the hell of it), prices start to edge up at a few stations in town. Pretty soon, the rest follow suit. Then it's suddenly the top story on the morning, evening, and late night news, as TV crews shoot footage of gas station signs and concerned reporters interview frustrated citizens at the pumps. Frustration quickly turns to anger and, within days, long-haul truckers are convoying to Washington, D.C., to protest, coalitions of outraged citizens are organizing gasoline boycotts (three days of not buying fuel will really show 'em!), your neighbors are frantically driving all over town looking for the cheapest fuel, and so on.

Essentially, what we do is complain about a situation where we hold none of the cards.

There are alternatives, you know. People just don't want to do them. Let's start with the most obvious: mass transportation. Unless you live in New York City, San Francisco, or right in the heart of any other major city, you're none too likely to park your daily-driver and take this radical step into zero-gas-cost-per-day commuting. Sure, there's the price of the fare to pay, but when you factor in the wear and tear on your car you'll save by riding the train/subway/bus, it's a no-brainer which is cheaper. In fact, I believe most everyone is in favor of mass transportation-for someone else. Reasoning that "If more people would use it, there'd be way less traffic on the freeway for me!"

Another alternative is carpooling: Most of today's medium-size and larger companies have programs in place that reward their carpooling employees with preferred parking places, gas reimbursements, movie tickets, and so forth. We had just such a plan at our 700-employee company, and it was met with middling participation. One obvious problem is finding pooling partners who live close enough to you (and share your talents for punctuality) to make it worthwhile. Another is being able to tolerate their incessant office gossip, politicizing, disgusting personal grooming habits, Stern, Imus, or Limbaugh preference, and myriad other foibles guaranteed to make you consider criminal acts by the second week.

Then there's the frugal driving tactic: Treat gasoline as if it were being rationed. Don't "warm up" your car before driving. Properly inflate your tires. Lighten the load in your vehicle's trunk. Make a map of your day's errand route and don't unnecessarily backtrack. Check your owner's manual and buy the lowest possible grade of gas advised by the manufacturer. And drive more like your grandma. (At least cut back on the burnouts and full-throttle on-ramp racing.)